Evolutional shame is a heavy yoke to bear. It deters you from progressing to the next level of achievement in your life. I worked hard to let mine go. Let’s face it, nobody hovers at a higher level their whole life. If that was the case, there would be no room for evolving.
For a very long time, I felt shame around casually dating. After all, it really doesn’t feel great to give yourself away to someone you know isn’t deserving. No self-respecting woman feels good allowing herself to be used and discarded.
Writing about and publishing my memoir, only increased the weight of the shame. It’s one thing to privately feel ashamed of my actions (Ones that I’d largely kept secret, until now.) It’s a whole other level of shame to write about and publish a book, vividly outlining those shameful events for anyone to read.
It’s almost as if the whole experience, from beginning to end, was a way of screaming, “I don’t care what you think about me. I’m proud of the woman I am today, regardless of the mistakes I’ve made and how I got to this point.”
A life without mistakes is a life without lessons.
Be VERY cautious of a person who claims to do nothing wrong. A perfect person is not a person you want to keep close.
Embrace those who openly admit fault and mistakes. They are the people you want to surround yourself with.
Hold the hand of someone who tells the truth and admits their lapse in judgement. THAT person is the one you want on your side. That is a person who is also evolving!
To let go once and for all, I had to reign in my thoughts like never before and change my internal voice from one of judgement and scorn to pragmatic words of encouragement.
As time moved on, I noticed I had to catch myself less and less. I found my internal voice shifted to being encouraging. Like The Little Engine That Could, I regularly told myself I could accomplish anything I focused on. Failure or giving up was never, EVER an option!
Another step I took was to get myself to unequivocally not care what others think of me.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard when you respect someone’s opinion, or want their approval. To fully let go of feelings of disappointment when not feeling supported or accepted by them was a lengthy process. It, too, came with the need to stop my negative voice and work diligently to fill my internal dialogue with positive and reaffirming words.
Like all changes, it just took time, repetition, and practice.
Now, just in the nick of time, I feel proud of the work I’ve accomplished and don’t give a shit about what other people think.
When you get to this place, your shame is gone and you’re walking 100% as the person you are meant to be.
My name is Lacie Mae Gabor, and I am not ashamed of the experiences I’ve had that have gotten me to where I stand today. I’m proud of the woman I am and am unashamed of who I used to be.
Take my hand.
Let me show you the way.
Let’s evolve together!