I’d take a bet that most people think faith and sexuality cannot be intermingled.
It seems as if the message from the church has always been negative, as if sex is too taboo to talk about, even for married people.
When it comes to the religious shame around sex, it doesn’t take long to figure out where it comes from. The Bible.
I researched sex and sexual gratification in the bible and was only able to come up with one positive verse. Sure, there were a couple other verses, but Proverbs 5:18-19 was really the only one I found that shed positive light on sex. It says:
Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.
Almost all of the scripture related to sex is chastising, sending the message to stay away, stay away, STAY AWAY!
It’s no wonder, women especially, are filled with shame and guilt for enjoying sex. They’ve been raised spiritually and culturally to believe sex is bad.
I’ll never forget a conversation with a friend, where she expressed that her whole life she was raised to be pure and unsullied, labels she was unable to shed even after getting married.
Sadly, she had an unfulfilling sex life because of it and felt horrible for her husband because she knew she was not giving him what he deserved.
“So give him what he deserves,” I said. “He’s your husband. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying sex with your husband.”
“Yeah, but I still feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
The glaring problem I saw was she internalized the wrong message. God never created sex to be bad or shameful. The message was just to wait until you’re married. The clitoris was not created solely for pleasure for it to go to waste.
The bible might mostly talk about sex as the act leading to procreation, but we all know it feels great and was made for pleasure too.
Sex is meant to be mindblowing and passionate and enjoyable—with your husband or wife.
Although I’ve had more than my fair share of casual sex, I couldn’t agree with this statement more.
The imperative reason people should not have sex casually is because it bonds you to the wrong people and makes them that much harder to get over.
I wasted YEARS of my life trying to get over the wrong one, because our physical connection was off the charts.
To avoid that from happening moving forward, I have no intention of sleeping with a man until he’s ready to commit to me, thus solidifying our bond.
Is that going to be hard? Hell yeah! But I’ve thought of ways to fend off my desires and to keep myself in check.
Now, I pray God will give me the strength to carry it through.