Do you enjoy being alone? Or do you prefer to surround yourself with your people most of the time? I believe being alone portrays the abundance of self-love and comfort with yourself. Not to mention the feeling of wholeness when you don’t have an inner aching to be doing something to distract yourself.
When I first got divorced, my alone time was agonizing. It was torture to go from a home filled with the sound of a family to silence for days on end. At the beginning, I was in such a horrible state of depression. I had no desire to fill my time with anything other than crying, reflecting, and sleeping.
As time passed, I slowly started filling my time with friends and family. The problem was, once my time was filled with their company, I dreaded going home to my quiet empty house. I started planning to fill as much of my free time as possible to suppress the feelings of loneliness and depression that would set in.
Fast forward 10 years – now I LOVE my alone time! I actually look forward to it. Now that I have Aubrey full-time, my alone time is limited to her sleepovers with friends, which are rare during Covid-19.
When I do get the house to myself, I spend my time with the following activities:
- Writing, writing, writing! (Duh!)
- Tending to my succulents. A great hobby my friend, Ingrid, introduced me to.
- Hanging out with friends and family.
- Self-reflection (with a little help from Mary Jane)
- Planning for my future by reading self-help books, listening to podcasts, and doing research on the internet.
- Cooking or baking new recipes
Transitioning from being married to single is tough, there are no if’s, and’s or but’s about it! Especially if your transition was completely unexpected like mine.
In the end, my divorce was the best thing that has ever happened to me as it gave me a second chance at life. Most importantly it gave me the chance to find myself.
I’m confident if I had remained married, I would’ve lived the rest of my life living for others, rather than learning to put myself first.
So, the next time your alone time feels daunting, think of what you can do for yourself during that time. Use it to reflect, plan and educate yourself.
Take advantage of every minute you have alone and use it for yourself!