I lost 5 years of my life being defined by my divorce. There wasn’t a person (or stranger for that matter) who didn’t know my story.
My best friend, the maid of honor in my wedding, married my ex-husband.
I’ve done A LOT of healing since then. Many times, I’ve forgiven my ex and my ex best friend. I say many times because a betrayal like theirs takes a lot of hard work to get over.
I’d openly, yet quietly cry at yoga as I forgave them both. Only to discover days, weeks, or months later the need to forgive them again. I learned first hand, there’s a lot of healing that takes place while decisively forgiving someone who has hurt you. And sometimes, you have to forgive them again and again and again. Until you wake up one day and realize you don’t need to forgive them for their past betrayals.
I found myself in this position 5 years after my divorce. Healed, but reflecting on the greatest betrayal of my so-called friend. To marry your best friend’s husband. I can think of some awful things, but none as bad as that.
It was one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever learned, that some people will take care of themselves at any cost. No matter how much pain they may inflict on someone else.
Now that I’m in a place to practice discernment, I clearly see those actions point to a lack of basic character traits. Ones that are more important to me now than ever before.
When I was younger, my friends consisted of people I had fun with or clicked with. Now, at forty-six, I surround myself with friends who have strong moral compasses and possess the Fruit of the Spirit: Love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I’ve learned from my experiences and am much more cautious of who I allow in my life.
I take to heart the saying, “When people show you who they are, believe them,” and you should too! Nothing speaks louder for future actions than a person’s past actions.
Moving forward, I vow to continue practicing discernment and will #choosewisely when considering what people to have in my life.
Now that the pain is gone and I’ve learned the greatest lesson in my life, I say #ThankYouForTheLesson and #ThankYouForBeingAFootstool.
I turned my greatest betrayal into strength and empowerment and you can too!